No Doubt The Years Have Changed Me
by didsomeonesayventus
Summary: The one critical moment in the struggle for Organization XIII's defeat... ended in more than one death. It's five years after, and now a new light is finally shed on what happened. In fact, it was worse than two deaths... Angst and AUs and why-the-freak-am-I-still-writing-this. Oneshot.


Riku, 21 years old and senior knight of Disney Castle, paced outside of King Mickey's study. He looked stiff, grief-stricken. He was tense about something as he gently massaged his temples and wiped his eyes before they became too teary.

A black coat. An Organization coat.

Five years since dubbing Xemnas defeated. Five years since Sora. The memories bounced around in his head, gleefully destroying his carefully collected emotions and letting them run free. After taking so long to stabilize his emotions they were now getting out of hand.

A.

Freaking.

Black.

Coat.

He felt his stomach sinking beyond his body, his head and heart were pounding. SO much work, wasted. So much time, so much, all for nothing.

He stopped when Kairi exited the study, saying callously "You shouldn't leave so early." She was 20 now, a very shapely and beautiful young woman. The only reason she wasn't married was because she had become bitter and cold.

"The guy is too short for Xemnas-"

Riku grabbed her shoulders, shaking her and dropping his facade of calm "Sora?! Could it be Sora?!"

Kairi indignantly removed his hands "Sora is dead, you know that." She walked away "Besides, Riku, the guy has a prosthetic limb: left hand, not sure how far it goes-"

"It's been five years, Kai-"

"HE PROMISED ME HE WOULDN'T CHANGE!" She snapped at him, whirling around in fury, mascara starting to stain her face. After a moment to collect herself, sniffling lightly and rubbing her eyes, she said softly "Sora is gone. He's been gone. Quit hanging onto that ridiculous notion he's alive and grow up, Riku."

Riku watched her leave, then said sadly "I expected you to hold onto that longer than me..."

...

Riku didn't care about the world he was searching. He didn't care one bit. All he wanted was to meet this mystery member in person. He had a feeling that they were just who he was looking for-

He caught a flash of black, and bolted after it "HEY! STOP!"

...

_Five years earlier, Riku splashed into the warm sea water of the Destiny Islands. After he was on shore, he was assailed with one question straight from Kairi: "Where's Sora?" as he panted in the shallow waves, she asked again, more urgently "Riku, where is Sora?!" Riku didn't know either, and he sadly shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to say what had happened yet._

_He handed her a letter that had been shoved hastily in a bottle "I... I think this is yours..."_

_They waited for him to come back._

_One week._

_He will come back._

_Two._

_He could come back._

_Three._

_He might come back._

_Four._

_Maybe he'll come back?_

_They held a funeral, finally caving in and deciding that Sora had died finishing the struggle of Organization XIII. No one wanted to give in to that horrible truth, but a full month of searching, a full month of waiting..._

_All the evidence was right in their face._

_Everyone was crippled, everyone was sobbing. There wasn't a single dry eye at the funeral. When Riku- who had been steadily crying, but otherwise completely mask-like -went up to give a few final words, he froze. Then he knocked the microphone away and left the podium with a disgusted sob:_

"_He deserved more than this shit."_

...

Riku threw his Keyblade at the cloaked figure he was chasing. He was positive this person was his target just from the left hand. Kairi's intelligence had been correct, as it was fake; it was spidery and appeared to be roughly hewn from wood and scrap metal. How it moved was up to anyone's guess.

The figure turned around quickly and parried it away with what looked like the Kingdom Key. Riku wondered where he had gotten it, and why it looked so beaten, so tarnished, so caught in disrepair. Keyblades didn't do that, did they?

"STOP RIGHT NOW!" He yelled, bringing his Keyblade back to him and launching a blizzard spell.

The figure, still running backwards, made a small mistake of talking as he countered it "FIRAGA!" As Riku was thrown back by the blast, he quickly adjusted the voice for tone, age, and potential injury in his head. It was deeper than he remembered, it had a slight wheeze, but he KNEW that voice.

Without hesitating a second, he launched another blizzard spell, and froze his target. He then pushed himself up, and somberly walked over "Sora?"

The figure broke free, running again, but this time Riku got his Keyblade around their throat in a deadly hold. "Run again, and you're dead." he hissed "Now who are you?!"

The figure didn't respond, struggling to break free.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" Riku screamed, shaking him.

The figure thought a moment, then said "Someone from the dark."

"I MEANT YOUR NAME!" Riku wasn't sure what he was feeling: one moment betrayal, another loss, then anger, then sadness. The figure broke free, summoning his own twisted blade "Someone from the dark! My name doesn't matter anymore." he then added softer "I lost the right to my name a long time ago."

"You don't lose the right to a name, NOW WHAT IS IT?!" Riku charged and quickly disabled the figure.

"Well, someone's getting pissed." the figure laughed.

Riku pressed his blade firmly against their shadowed neck "Who. Are. You?" When they didn't respond, he flipped their hood over:

Lightly tanned skin, brown hair that was cropped short but still stuck out in that familiar way, blue eyes that were suddenly filled with far too much pain, a scar- "XIII" -that took up so much of his left cheek he winced slightly from it, his neck covered by another and then a third on his shoulder.

"No one. A dead man." Sora said softly. Riku felt himself melting- Sora... he knew it! Sora was alive-

The lost boy punched his old friend, backing off and readjusting his hood "There, you got a peek." He summoned a dark corridor "Now leave me and my employer alone-"

Riku grabbed him by his neck "No, I am NOT losing you again!" It wasn't a threatening grasp, he wasn't being choked, but Sora's hands still scrambled up to Riku's "Let me go!"

"No! No I won't!" RIku was crying "I won't lose you Sor-"

"SORA IS DEAD!" he screeched. He then began sobbing "Don't you get that he's dead?!"

Riku thought a moment, then said "I thought he was, but what I think he doesn't understand is that no matter what he's done he's still alive, right in front of me."

...

_Five years earlier, Sora and Riku were facing the last survivor of Organization XIII, and barely surviving. "Come on, Riku! We can do it!" Sora yelled as he picked out the real Xemnas "We can beat him!" as he and Xemnas cashed blades, he spat "We can beat YOU!"_

_They parted, Sora and Riku huddling closer together as Xemnas readied another attack- unexpectedly, Riku was shoved away and Sora was pierced with a single beam of light, and a steady wave of pure agony. It was so painful, he couldn't even scream, he couldn't do anything but twitch as Xemnas began steadily ripping out his heart._

"_Sora! I'm coming!" Riku yelled, rushing towards him. He was shoved away by another clone of the leader of Organization XIII shortly after, and then Xemnas summoned a dark corridor. Sora jerkily reached a hand for Riku "RIKU!"_

_Riku was shoved inside "SORA!"_

_Sora held his hand out as the portal closed. Riku was gone. He was gone. What on earth was he going to do now?! As he grew weaker, his hand lowered. Die. He was going to die, that was the answer. He suddenly registered his injuries: a bloody nose, a black eye, several cuts running up and down his body. How pitiful, to think that he was only 15 years old and already bearing the scars of a veteran._

_Suddenly the terrible spell wore off, and just before Sora's limp body crashed to the ground, Xemnas held him up by his jacket. "What's... wrong...?" Sora hissed "Giving up... already...?" Xemnas merely chuckled "Such audacity from a defeated foe."_

_Sora grimaced, but it came out more as a twisted smile "Too cowardly... to kill... me?"_

"_No, rather, I need you." Xemnas said simply. Sora frowned "What... what makes you... think I'll... listen?" he coughed a little before continuing "Why would I... listen to such... a cheater...?"_

_Xemnas full out laughed at Sora's naivety "A cheater? I am merely an __opportunist, a combat pragmatist__."_

_Sora spat out a foul mix of saliva and blood right at Xemnas. "A cheater." he growled with full loathing._

_Xemnas suddenly pressed his ethereal blade against Sora's neck "Cheater or not, you will listen to the proposition I have for you." Sora rolled his eyes, but sighed "Fine... what'chya want?"_

"_I will let you live, and you will be a part of my new organization,"_

"_Never."_

"_you will use your Keyblade to make me a new Kingdom Hearts,"_

"_I'll die first."_

"_and when your time of servitude is over, I will let you rejoin your friends."_

_Sora raised his hand to grab Xemnas's wrist "If I refuse?" Xemnas pressed his blade harder, causing another trail of blood to form on Sora's neck "I will kill you, I will kill your friends, I will kill everything you hold dear." Sora then asked "I can't see anyone or tell anyone?"_

"_Indeed. You will only be known to our new Organization."_

_Sora thought a moment. _

_Two. _

_Xemnas pressed harder "Quit stalling."_

_Sora laughed "As if you'll kill me, you're bluf-AGH!" Xemnas viciously drew his blade across Sora's shoulder. As he placed it back at his neck, he said warningly "That was just a taste of punishment."_

_Sora's hand dropped, and he said softly "Okay then... you got a deal."_

...

Riku had to knock Sora unconscious to take him back. He watched the sleeping young man carefully as he steered back to Disney Castle.

"Guys, I've got him... but you won't believe who it is..."

...

_Sora's funeral had a sea of mourners dressed in black. Sora and Xemnas, both wearing dark slacks and hoodie versions of the signature Organization cloak, hung around seamlessly in the back. No one noticed the intruders at all, too despondent to care. _

_Riku stormed past them, sobbing and ranting under his breath; blaming himself for it all. Sora made the barest move to comfort him, but Xemnas held him back. It looked like he was being held back by his shoulder, but it was really the finger that pressed hard against the hollow of his throat, making his voice a wheezing sound that was lost among the sobs._

"_Don't even make them aware of your situation... All they know is that you are dead." Xemnas whispered. He then pressed harder "Do you understand?"_

_Sora nodded, gasping for air. Xemnas let him go, but kept a somber hand on his shoulder. Sora's sobs joined the countless others- he was scared, hurt emotionally by all the pain his choice caused -but his voice wasn't recognized._

_Since when did Sora cry?_

...

Riku lead Sora- who now had his hood up and, oddly enough, his hands tied, both upon his insistence -through the halls of Disney Castle. "I'm sure you remember this place." He began softly "You saved the Cornerstone of Light, remember?"

Sora was silent.

"I _know_ you remember." Riku said a little more angrily. Sora then said softly "Maybe."

Meanwhile, Kairi paced around angrily, impatiently. She wanted to meet this troublemaker face-to-face. She wanted to see him pay for Organization XIII- She stopped herself, taking a calming breath. So far there wasn't any proof of association. Just the cloak, but those things floated around to protect others from darkness, anyways. Revenge wasn't a good reason either.

"Kairi, can ya sit down for once?" Goofy asked.

Donald nodded "It's not like they'll get here sooner if you pace like that."

Kairi didn't say anything, but she exchanged pacing for rocking back and forth on her heels, something she hadn't done in years.

"... and I'm sure you'll want to see them aga-" Riku walked in with the mystery member in tow like a prisoner of war, and stopped abruptly at the blank stares of confusion from the others. "Uh, Riku?" Donald said with a cautious approach. Goofy joined in "Why are ya talkin' to him like that?" Kairi coldly glared at them both. She then said "Riku, if you're going back on us-"

"I'm not, I swear, he's a friend!"

Kairi's eyes lit up with a new fury "Are you saying that this is... that this is HIM?" Riku nodded. Donald and Goofy shifted uncomfortably, knowing what was coming. Kairi started trembling with rage "Riku, I swear if this is some ruffian off of the street you think looks like him...!" She trailed off with clear warning. Donald grabbed her hand to calm her down, but she shook it off.

Riku then very simply removed Sora's hood. Or at least tried to, since he resisted by pulling it down even more. "Come on, it's not like we hate you!" he said, annoyed. Sora silently kept pulling it firm on his head. Eventually Riku got it off of him, but even then he looked away from everyone.

But that glance was enough.

Donald and Goofy seized up. Kairi's anger flickered. Riku grabbed Sora's hand "Come on, we won't bite." he chuckled "Kai might, but we just want to see you again."

Sora shifted a little, refusing to say a word or look at anyone. Goofy approached him "Is that you?" Donald dropped his staff "Sora...?"

"I'm not him." Sora said bitterly "I'm not."

"Now hold on one second," Goofy said, grabbing Sora's chin and forcing him to look at him "I know your voice anywhere, I know your face, and while they're both a little changed, you're Sora!" Sora hastily slapped his hand away "I just look and sound like him, so what?!"

In response, Goofy just hugged him. Riku could see over his shoulder that Sora was paralyzed. His face was stiff and emotionless- perhaps from fear, or the reaction he didn't anticipate. He simply reached between them and untied Sora "It's okay to hug him back."

Sora pushed Goofy away, grabbed Riku, and held him with his twisted Keyblade right at his heart.

He was trembling, but began his threat anyways "I-I'll kill him if you don't let me go!" His voice painfully squeaked and heightened in pitch. Riku very calmly raised his hands "Sora, you're not a killer-"

"You haven't seen him in years!" Sora snapped at him. He suddenly paused, seeing Kairi with her Keyblade aimed right at him. She looked murderous "I've already lost the love of my life, I'm not losing him, too."

No one moved. Kairi's eyes narrowed "LET. HIM. GO."

...

_Four years ago, Riku and Kairi, barely coping with the loss of their best friend, were sitting in front of King Mickey. The words he said just seemed to glaze over, not really sinking in- "...good...just young man...better than most..."_

_Everything just seemed so hollow and meaningless. "Good" and "Just" and "better" and all those other nameless heroic qualities didn't save Sora at all. It killed him before life even started with him._

_Then Mickey slid over a small case "For all three of your valiant efforts." Kairi was the first to respond, slowly and vacantly picking up the case and opening it. Inside were three small medals, made of gold and silver and bronze with the King's insignia sitting upon the precious metals, done with rubies, emeralds, and sapphires. They were all identical, all incorporating a combination of effort to make something valuable._

"_The Trinity Medal, a badge of the utmost honor and duty to the worlds that can be presented by Disney Castle."_

_Riku and Kairi picked up two, mostly thinking about how pointless it was when they didn't do much, then they finally noticed the third. "W-what's this one for?" Riku asked. Mickey frowned lightly "That one is for Sora... We offered it to his parents, but they refused." he chuckled lightly "They said they didn't want to remember their child as a warrior."_

_Riku felt equal mixes of understanding and hatred: his own parents were refusing to remember any of his life beyond fourteen, then. Cutting his already short life even shorter. It was almost enough to make him explode in anger, but he calmed himself at the thought that it was probably hard for them to think that while they waited out their ordinary lives, Sora was almost dying on a daily basis._

"_Since they didn't want it, I figured you two would." Mickey said cautiously "But I won't mind if you don't," he gently grasped Riku's hand "I understand it's been the hardest on you two."_

_Riku shook his head, finally noticing that Kairi was sobbing "No, no it's perfect."_

...

Sora very cautiously sidled away "Then let me go. Let me waltz back to Xemn-"

"So he _is_ alive." Riku cut him off "He's held you back this whole time, hasn't he?"

Sora's left hand- the fake one -clenched a little tighter "What if he has?" he sighed "You don't understand, he's coming right now-"

"Nothing can touch us here, Sora." Riku said carefully and calmly "I've grown stronger- about as powerful as the both of us were five years ago, maybe stronger -Kairi's grown, so have Donald and Goofy." he started pushing away Sora's Keyblade "If he's coming, he'll have a run for his money-"

Sora stiffly put it back "I'm doing this so we won't have to risk that-"

"Threatening to kill me to keep me safe? Yeah, that makes sense." Riku rolled his eyes. He winked at Donald, who titled his head worriedly. Riku pinched his fingers in response. Donald then reluctantly raised his hand "Thunder!"

Sora let Riku go to care for his suddenly zapped hand, backing away and gently rubbing it "What was that for?!"

"Listen, I don't want to hurt you anymore than that, okay?" was Donald's only reply. Sora turned away, his "XIII" scar in full view of everyone "Too late for that."

...

_One year after his "death", Sora was storming to Xemnas "Excuse me, but this is getting ridiculous."_

_Xemnas didn't acknowledge him much besides his own question "What is getting ridiculous?"_

"_The Heartless! What else?!" Sora yelled at him "I've been fighting day in and day out for a year now, barely getting any sleep, barely finding time to heal myself up, and now you go and double the number I have to take out?!" for lack of a better vent, he slammed his fist into the wall "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"_

_Xemnas was as emotionless as ever "I thought you'd want to see your friends faster."_

_Sora glared at him "I already see them often enough on your orders, but that's ALL I EVER DO!" he barely restrained his torment, his rage, his sorrow. The past year had been nothing but kill Heartless, and observe Kairi and Riku shatter right in front of his eyes. He couldn't say a word, he couldn't even get within a few feet of them. Just watch, just observe, nothing more._

_Xemnas glowered down at him "You're the one who agreed to this."_

_Sora, in his audacity that was only boosted from his anger, spat at him "I didn't agree to be a slave!"_

_There was a sickening crack as Xemnas calmly slapped Sora with the back of his hand, then a sharp thud as Sora's head banged against the wall. After a dizzied moment to collect himself, Sora gingerly placed a hand to his split open cheek._

"_I will not tolerate such insolence."_

_Sora continued glaring at him "I won't tolerate going back on your word! I've killed enough Heartless to make Kingdom Hearts! But no, you squandered that power on a new World That Never Was!" he gestured to their recently remade base of operations. It made him sick to think he had made this horrid place again._

_Xemnas lashed out in a flash, pinning him against the wall with an ethereal blade bared "Continue, if you wish." he growled._

_Sora growled himself "You've gone back on your word-"_

_His cheek was slashed right along the previous injury, making a thin, horizontal line._

_His voice rose, with only the slightest tremble of pain "You've been treating me like I'm not even a person-"_

_Another line, parallel to the previous._

"_Your goal isn't going to make any lives better-"_

_An X between the lines now._

"_You hurt my friends in ways they can't recover from-"_

_One line. Sora was yelling and sobbing now._

"_You make me watch the life I can't have because of you-"_

_Another._

"_And you made me WATCH MY OWN STINKING FUNERAL!"_

_A third, cutting a little deeper than the rest._

_They sat there a moment, tension palpable enough to stop one in their tracks. Xemnas backed off "You are fortunate that you're more useful alive to me than dead." he walked calmly away "Now get back to your assignments."_

_Sora was leaning against the wall for support, clutching his bleeding cheek and trying to stifle his sobbing. Out of all the brands Xemnas used, it had to be "__XIII_"_. He didn't know- at first -what was boiling in his stomach, but when he stood and screamed at Xemnas, he recognized it._

"_I HATE YOU!"_

_Xemnas paused, then turned back with his own amused little grin "Do you? Do you hate me with all of your pathetic heart?"_

"_I do." Sora hissed "You're the first person I can actually say that to with utmost certainty."_

"_Then I am honored." Xemnas replied in his own twisted way._

...

Kairi seemed to be glaring right at Sora, or maybe through him and into his heart. She still didn't believe that this was him. He didn't believe it either, but Riku, Donald, and Goofy did.

Of course, this still stunned them. Five years and he had completely lost his sense of identity. Sora then walked to a small chair in the corner of the study, sitting down after brushing past Kairi. She was suddenly staring ahead, wide eyed from what he whispered and what was now in her hand.

...

_Sora collapsed onto the ground. He was clutching at his neck, trying hard to stay alive as the mangled piece of flesh bled out. "Help..." he whispered, his voice hoarse and wet "Help me... please...!"_

_Xemnas only sat there, then left, leaving Sora to fend for himself "You should be more careful."_

...

Kairi held up her hand, gazing in absolute wonder at the small star-shaped trinket inside it. She traced her hand around the faded shells, the worn wood crown, the thin and frayed twine. Her charm. The one she had given to Sora. What he had whispered to her?

"You look beautiful."

She had heard that phrase one too many times in the sleazy, "please get in bed with me" way, but the way he said it... genuine, honest, tender, meaningful. Sora's way. She felt herself tear up as she held a hand to her mouth "It's you... it's really you..."

Sora didn't respond.

...

_Three years ago, Riku and Kairi sat awkwardly in front of each other. They messed around with the dinner they had gotten for each other, and uncertain about what to say. Riku cleared his throat "So... first date and all..."_

_Kairi nibbled on some salad "Um... yeah..."_

_More awkward silence. Kairi leaned over the table and kissed Riku's cheek "Thanks, this means a lot."_

_Riku smiled, but it was small "No problem, you should have something that makes you happy for once." On an impulse, they leaned in closer, closing their eyes-_

_There was a bang on the window, both of them jumping back and looking around. Riku chuckled lightly "Just a bird, it's dark out and it probably didn't see the glass." he leaned in closer "Now, where were we?"_

_Unbeknownst to them, Sora was curled up on the ground just outside, crying his broken heart out._

...

Kairi rushed over, hugging him "This is real..."

Sora still didn't respond, but then slowly, reluctantly, fearfully, anxiously, he wrapped his arms around her "Is it?"

She cried happily into his shoulder "It is!"

Donald and Goofy bolted out in delight, bringing the whole castle the momentous news. Riku approached them after Kairi helped Sora up, then the three collapsed to the ground in joyful sobs. Mostly joyful, though. Sora was a little regretful of the past five years.

After a moment to collect themselves, Riku and Kairi began asking all sorts of questions, which eventually winded around his countless scars- mental and physical.

Kairi softly grabbed his fake hand "Sora... how did you get this?"

Sora pulled it back, biting his lip and looking away "Well... wasn't that fun."

...

_Three years after this faked death, Sora was curled up and sobbing in his cell. It wasn't from heartbreak, it was from agony. He was clutching the bleeding stump of what used to be his hand, trying hard to stop the bleeding. The pain had been so numbing, he couldn't remember what he had done to receive the injury. Just Xemnas callously slicing his hand off for some kind of failure._

_He glanced at a box of scrap metal and wood, then with steely resolve he bandaged his hand tight and walked over._

_He worked tirelessly all night. Many nights afterwards the same. He carved and shaped a hand, then worked with all the spell-craft techniques he knew to try and animate it. After tiring months, he put it on and whispered "Vigor."_

_It suddenly twitched, then he experimentally flexed it._

_He smiled in pride for the first time in years at his self-made prosthetic hand. HE made it. Just for him and no one else. Not to mention his delight in how he finally had a left hand again._

_It quickly blew out when he realized that Xemnas would just up the number of Heartless to kill. _

_It didn't mean he was getting out anytime soon._

...

Interestingly enough, when Donald and Goofy came back, they brought the news report that Xemnas had vanished. Sora didn't believe it, at least until King Mickey came and said that the old Nobody had finally died.

Sora still didn't believe that. Even when they showed him that Xemnas had finally expired thanks to old age, Sora remained paranoid. "Just sleeping, trying to fool us all." he muttered.

It took some time, but eventually Sora was mostly back to his old self. He and Kairi married each other after a handful of years of dating, they all started smiling again. Sora's scars- being scars -never truly faded away, and the mental ones always held a ghost of behavior tics.

No doubt the years had changed him, but there was always work towards a better future.

* * *

Ugh, I really need to get off this train with Sora and Xemnas, but I just CAN'T. They have SUCH an interesting Villain-Protagonist relationship!


End file.
